Poppy on a Kite

And for the final Poppy Seed post of the week, we hear from Kristen about how the road to “chub” is paved with good intentions.

So. Y’all might remember my guest blog from May 2011. The theme of that entry was to love yourself no matter what size you are – and to put your health ahead of selfish wants (for example: Eating your feelings in the form of an ice cream sundae) All of these things are still a huge priority for me, and are still at the forefront of my daily struggle.

However, the blog was also laced with promises to the readers. I promised that even though I was in the busy season of work, I’d get back on track and keep myself and my weight loss a priority. Well… ladies and gents, it has now been 8 months since that post hit the interwebs and I’m excited to give you an update!…

Since then – *drum roll please*… I’ve gained 30 lbs.

I unfortunately never scheduled that walk with Suban.

I unfortunately did not join her or other friends at the YMCA for classes.

I unfortunately did not continue my group training classes.

I unfortunately stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings or tracking my points.

But … but … but … I promise Poppy-ers, I had good intentions! I intended to stay on track, I intended to keep losing and be able to rejoice the day that I had lost 100 lbs.

My good intentions were not helping me drop pounds, or feel better in my skin; they were actually doing the opposite. They were making me feel guilty for not being able to find the strength inside myself to push harder. I was mere pounds away from hitting a weight that I had PROMISED myself I would never hit again and I knew I couldn’t make excuses anymore.

I decided to do the cliche’d New Year’s resolution. I resolved to leave my bad habits in 2011, and to make 2012 the year I lose 100 lbs. I found the strength to wake up on January 1^st and cut out my bad habits. I decided to stop paving my weight loss road with good intentions, and instead pave it with inner-strength, support from my friends and family, and my stubborn persistance to take the next steps.

I gave up fried foods. I started tracking my WW points everyday. I signed up for a water aerobics class.

I gave up “good intentions” and bad excuses and put myself first again.

I won’t make any promises this time around, I won’t promise that I won’t fail, or gain more weight, or struggle, but I consider that a success, I can’t hide behind good intentions anymore, I can just pick myself up, dust myself off and jump back in the pool.

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